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EPHESIANS 4:26 “BE ANGRY, AND SIN NOT: LET NOT THE SUN GO DOWN UPON YOUR WRATH.” (KJV)
“Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” (NKJV)
“Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” (RSV, ESV, NASB)
“In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (NIV)
“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.” (NET)
“Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry-but don’t use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don’t stay angry. Don’t go to bed angry. Don’t give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.” (MSG)
I have shared many times that the verses I choose to suggest we memorize come at the guidance and direction of the Lord. I pray about them before I choose them. The Lord brought this verse to my attention next.
Most of us who have been around the church for a long time would agree that this verse would be a very natural follow up to our previous chapter…about marriage and finding a good wife. I can’t think of a single marriage counseling course I have ever been through where somewhere along the way the counsellor will tell everyone, “Don’t ever go to bed angry. Look at Ephesians 4:26.”
This is great advice. In the most intimate of relationships we will likely have in this life, the marriage relationship is one that rarely profits from “held” anger.
The advice usually goes something like this: “Don’t ever go to bed angry! Work out your issues and problems with your husband or wife before you go to bed if you hope to have a happy marriage. That anger will only fester over night and rarely goes away through the night. Take care of it and go to bed with each other in peace.”
I have tried to faithfully apply this wisdom to my life and my marriage to Cheryl for all the years we lived together. Its wisdom is without question when it comes to counseling for a peaceful, loving marriage relationship. However, I have found, over years of living a Christian life, that this truth is far more universal than just in that relationship.
The first statement sounds pretty simple: Be angry and don’t sin! Sounds easy enough, huh? I haven’t found this to be so easy.
By the way, I do not believe that this Scripture is telling us to BE ANGRY! If read literally…exactly as it is written…it would seem that this is what it is telling us. However, I don’t think the intent of Paul when he wrote it was to tell the good people in the church of Ephesus, “Sure thing! Be angry!”
Instead, in the context of what Paul (and the writer, the Holy Spirit) is actually telling us is that it is human nature to be angry. “I know you will get angry from time to time.” I don’t think it is saying that being angry is a good thing. I think it recognizes that as we live this life, we are going to get angry from time to time. It isn’t a sin to get angry. But it is very important what we do with that anger…what our reaction to that anger is in how we live our lives.
This thought certainly rings true when we harmonize this verse with others Paul wrote. In Romans 12:18 Paul said, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” This dealing with anger thing goes way beyond just our relationship with our wives. What you do with your anger applies with everyone else you meet in life too.
There are lots of other “sins” that go right along with anger: jealousy, hatred, bitterness, resentment, revenge, judgment, rage. I need to stop the list! The list is a long one. It seems like uncontrolled anger can have a lot of further consequences if we allow our anger to turn to sin.
I think what Paul is telling us here is that he knows we are going to get angry. Life has a way of making us that way very easily. It would probably be better for us individually, and the rest of the world corporately, if we did not get angry. However, knowing that anger is probably unavoidable, it is very important that in our anger we do not sin.
The leading example in Scripture, of course, is Jesus as He became angry at those who bought and sold in the temple. Three of the four Gospels cover this account (Matthew 21:12, Mark 11:15 and John 2:15). Any good Bible student knows the story very well.
Jesus went into the temple, He “drove out those who bought and sold there and overturned the tables of the money changers and the seats of those who sold doves.” (Matt 21:12-13) He said that the money-changers had made this “house of prayer” into a “den of thieves.” Two verses. And the very next verse says the blind and lame came to Him in the temple and He healed them.” Where did the anger go?
The account in John uses a few more verses than the other two describing this incident. It says Jesus made a whip to drive the money changers out! It says He “drove them out.” Sounds pretty angry to me!
Notice in John 2:17 how John said the disciples, observing this incident, remembered an old Scripture text which said, “Zeal for Your house has eaten Me up.” Hmm… I guess it was “ZEAL” not anger.
I can conclude two facts from this episode. One, Jesus became angry. Many have tried to interpret what His motivation for such anger was. This occasion is often termed, Jesus’ “righteous anger.” You can call it zeal if you want to. Definitely, zeal can lead to anger just like it can lead to pride. In this case, however, if Jesus made a whip, turned over tables and drove bad people out, I think we can conclude, He was ANGRY.
The second fact that is indisputable is that HE DID NOT SIN. As God manifested in the flesh, He could not sin. As our sacrifice, for our sins, He lived a perfect life and DID NOT SIN. What more would He have had to do to fall into sin over this anger? I do not know. But, in His anger, He did not sin. He is our example of Ephesians 4:26. Be angry and do not sin!
Don’t even get me started on those semi-truck drivers. They love to get out in front of me and slow to just the speed limit as they pass another semi and hold me back from where I am trying to get to for minutes at a time. I get so angry sometimes that, as I finally pass them minutes later, I find myself really wanting to “turn their tables over” and “drive them out of the temple.” Actually, if I am being honest, my anger would be demonstrated in far different ways that I do not want to describe in this chapter. I am angry!
But I sin not! Well….I would like to say, I sin not. But the honest truth can be something entirely different. It isn’t the most hidden secret that unresolved, uncontrolled anger almost always leads to greater anger and ultimate behaviors of SIN.
For some of us, our blood pressure goes up. Some might display visual signs of displeasure toward deviant drivers. I love the drivers who demonstrate their dissatisfaction with the way they swerve back in front of those deviants after finally getting around them. One, very angry, truck driver actually put his vehicle close enough to my RV one time that his mirror actually came in contact with the window of mine.
There have actually been documented cases of drivers who became so angry at other drivers that they used guns to retaliate. These things are all a long way from being angry and sinning not. If we are honest, we must admit that it takes very little to provoke most of us to anger.
Again, I would repeat that being angry isn’t a sin…it is part of being human. It is what we do with our anger that drives us to sin. Be angry, yes. Don’t let your anger lead you sin. How do we do that?
May I suggest that the second part of this verse that we are memorizing is just as important in answering that question. “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.”
Yes, this is great advice in the times of anger and distress we will ultimately get into as we live together as husband and wife. If you need to take this verse absolutely literally, resolve any anger issues you have with one another before you go to bed….or don’t go to bed until you do. There are far worse exercises you could use to disperse your anger for one another than doing this.
But, let me suggest that what Paul was trying to teach us has just as much to do with how we handle anger and how quickly we resolve it as it does to do with the advice about taking care of it. Granted, you will sleep a lot better if you resolve any disputes, fights or disagreements before you go to sleep at night. But Paul is not telling us to wait until bed time to handle anger. As a matter of fact, if we wait until bed time to resolve anger, we have already disobeyed the literal interpretation of this verse…it is almost well past when the sun went down.
You see where I am going with this. Anger is inevitable. We must not sin when we are angry. And, the only way to accomplish this is to handle it/resolve it as quickly as possible. Timing of the resolution of our anger might be more important than actually having allowed the anger to exist in the first place.
If your anger is causing your blood pressure to skyrocket, it might be the more Christian thing for you to do to pull over and get your anger under control. One might even suggest that there is nothing wrong with SLOWING DOWN and arriving at your destination three minutes later. The definite wrong path to go is to keep stirring up that anger until it converts to wrath, reaction and revenge.
Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath. Don’t let your wrath last for ten minutes. Recognize that your anger is turning into wrath and STOP IT before it turns into behaviors of sin.
My wife could do things that would set me off…primarily because we “had this argument before and here we are having it again!” Hold on Dave! Take a few breaths, lower your blood pressure by maybe recognizing that this isn’t as big a thing as you think it is and give yourself a chance to recognize your anger over the issue. Now, before anger morphs into something that you will regret later, think about it for a few minutes and maybe remember the way you tried to handle it in the past that didn’t work out so well. Maybe a different approach this time might maintain peace and maybe even provide a better solution.
When we were kids and we got angry, they would say, “Count to ten.” Yes, we need to handle our anger soon. But, just coming right out and making it go the way you want it to go might make you say some things you might not want to say.
Yes, we are going to get angry. It would be better if I could learn to not get angry, but chances are, it is going to happen again. Being angry isn’t sinful…it is what we do with that anger that leads to sin.
Recognize anger when it comes. If you need to, count to ten to stop the anger, control your temper and give yourself time to recognize what the problem is. Once anger is acknowledged and recognized, make sure it doesn’t lead you to sin.
Be angry and sin not. But don’t let it sit there and simmer. Before it even turns into wrath, ask the Lord to help you see the best way to resolve the anger so it goes away. Do it quickly…right now, while it is having an impact on you personally.
Don’t be afraid to confront your own weaknesses and consider how you might change yourself to resolve anger. You might be a large part of the problem yourself. Don’t be afraid to consider that.
Have that helpmate the Lord provided you help you see the things about yourself that you might be blinded to…that is one of the big reasons the Lord gave them to you. Ask the Lord for forgiveness where you may have allowed sin to sneak into your anger and draw you away from what He wants you to be. Let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart and show you how you can change to become even more like the image of Jesus to yourself, your family and others around you. Be angry and sin not.
Questions to consider: What drives you to anger quickest? Why do some people get angry more easily than others? Why do words we use tend to stir up anger more than other things? Why does it seem like Satan knows exactly what things make you angry the easiest? How can your spouse help you control your anger? Why does slowing things down tend to help us have a better handle on anger? Should the way we drive be a reflection of Jesus in our lives? When have arguments resulting from our anger ever produced a positive outcome?
Other Scriptures to study: Psalm 103:8 “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.” Proverbs 14:29 “He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding.” Prov 15:18 “A wrathful man stirs up strife; but he that is slow to anger appeases strife.” James 1:19 “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath. For the wrath of man works not the righteousness of Christ.” Prov 15:1 “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Luke 21:19 “In your patience possess ye your souls.”
 
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